My Farewell - Last Words Before Parting

Well, it's been quite a journey these past eleven weeks. My chemotherapy treatments have ended, bringing an end to the need for this blog. It seems so long ago when I started out with my first treatment three days before Christmas. I know I had a lot of reservations about doing chemotherapy back then. But I'm glad I made the decision to go ahead and accept the doctor's recommendations. I know there are no guarantees when it comes to cancer but I'm comfortable knowing I've given myself the best chance against recurrence.

I wish I could say I'm all done with everything related to my cancer diagnosis and treatment, but I still have one more surgery, a period of healing, a head of hair to grow back, and 5 years of hormone therapy. But there will be an end to all this, just like there was an end to the chemotherapy treatments. One day soon I will be able to say it's really over. And years from now, it will be a distant memory. I might even forget how awful the Ensure drink and the salt-and-baking-soda mouth rinse tasted.

And so tomorrow I head back to work. I'm excited but a little bit nervous. I really have no idea what I will we doing when I return. I'm sure I will have a lot of catching up to do to bring myself up to speed on whatever project I'm assigned to next. Staying busy will definitely not be an issue.

When I first considered doing this blog, it seemed kind of silly and I almost dismissed the idea. But I'm glad I chose to do it anyways. I heard from many of you that it really helped to keep you informed on how I was doing. I wish to thank you all for your continuous prayers and support during this trial of mine. It helped to know you were all pulling for me.

I've been thinking that I may start a new blog, a blog about our family...So stay tuned. I'll send a new link when I get it going.

...And that's a wrap!

A Visit With My Oncologist

This morning I met with my oncologist to see what's next now that my chemotherapy is complete.

I will be starting hormonal therapy (also known as endocrine therapy) very soon.  My type of breast cancer was estrogen receptor-positive meaning it needs the hormone estrogen to grow. Hormone therapies block or stop my body's production of estrogen which helps stop the cancer from growing again. I found out today that I will not be taking Tamoxifen as we first thought. A blood test was done back in November to determine if I was premenopausal or postmenopausal. It appears I am postmenopausal and will need to take something different. I guess the cancer or surgery scared my body into menopause. I will be taking an aromatase inhibitor, which blocks the body from making estrogen. Tamoxifen works by blocking estrogen in breast tissue. Both work to stop the growth of breast cancer but one is used before menopause and one is used after. The aromatase inhibitor works better from what I was told and read, but it can cause osteoporosis. So before I can start the pills, I need to have a bone density test done. I will be contacted to set up the appointment when the insurance approves the test. The results will give the doctor a baseline to which he can compare future tests. I will be taking calcium and vitamin D supplements to help fight off the osteoporosis and keep my bones strong. I will also need to include weight-bearing exercises into my fitness routines. Back to the gym!

We talked about food, which foods to eat and which to avoid in an anti-cancer diet. Basically eat lots of fruits and vegetable, limit red meat, choose fish or chicken, limit dairy, junk food and foods with high sugar content. It's nothing I hadn't heard before and most of it I try to incorporate in my current diet for a healthy heart.

Regarding my next surgery, I can have it done any time after three weeks have passed from my last treatment. Three weeks will be next Wednesday. I won't be having surgery then, but I do have an appointment with my plastic surgeon next Wednesday to discuss the surgery. A surgery date will be scheduled soon afterwards.

Today's doctor visit was very short and the doctor was very inattentive towards me.  He was late getting into the office, hence late for my appointment and a hurry to move on to the next patient. Furthermore, while looking up my records on the computer he was preoccupied with his text messages on his cell phone. I wasn't thrilled when I first was assigned this doctor and I'm still not impressed. I guess as long as he gets the tests and pills ordered, everything should work out okay. I don't meet with him again until a month later after starting the pills. I think I'll have the appointment later in the day so he can get his other business out of the way before he sees me. Maybe I'll get more of his attention that way. We'll see.

Surviving Chemotherapy Blog is Coming to an End

I feel my "Surviving Chemotherapy" blog has come to the point where its worn out its intent. When I started this blog, I wanted to provide a way for family and friends to check in on me and find out how I was doing day to day. It also helped me to record patterns of side effects from treatment to treatment. I believe it succeeded in both ways. But my chemotherapy treatments are complete and the side effects have all but faded away. I find myself chatting more and more about my outings, my hobbies or family events, and less about the treatments and their effects on me. It is time to bring this blog to an end. Tuesday is my last day of medical leave and will also be my last blog entry. With a release to return to work on Wednesday, I can confidently say "I survived my chemotherapy".

So tomorrow I visit my oncologist to find out what happens next and how long I need to wait before I have the final surgery that completes the reconstruction process started back in October. It will be the last information I have to share that is related to my chemotherapy treatments and will bring the topic to rest. And I am more than ready to move on.

Warm Summer-like Day

It's funny how 77° seemed so hot today in comparison to recent days where the high was only 60°. But in August and September, 77° will seem quite cool when the temperatures have soared into the 90's. Nevertheless, today the warmer temperature felt like summer. I opened up the windows and doors in the house to let the warm winds in. You can feel it. Spring is just around the corner.

Today was cleaning day. I am back into my routine where house cleaning and laundry get done on Friday night and Saturday morning. Though I don't start work until Wednesday, I'm getting back into my old schedule of full time work weeks and weekends for stuff around the house. I won't have any problem getting up early in the mornings to go to work. I get up early now to see my son off to school. It should be an easy transition from house bum to working woman.

I feel great and have no more lingering side effects from this last round of chemotherapy. Oh, except for this stuffy nose. And my gums. I never mentioned them before, but they get tender after each treatment and bleed some when flossing. Just another mouth problem. But this has almost cleared up too. Almost 100% me.

Out Most of the Day

I had a very busy day that took me all over North San Diego County, to the south, out west to the coast, and north to the shopping centers.

I began the day heading south to our church for a Women's Cancer Support Group meeting. The meetings have really helped me through this crazy journey I've been on. These women have inspired me with their own personal stories and encouraged and prayed for me throughout my treatments. I learned how important it is to reach out and ask for help and support. It wasn't as scary when I had friends that knew what I was going through and how I was feeling. I wasn't alone and that made a big difference.

Next was an absolutely fabulous lunch date out west. My neighbor helped me celebrate the end of chemotherapy by treating me to a wonderful lunch at a fancy restaurant right on the beach. We even had window seats to enjoy the gorgeous view. I tried the Pecan-Crusted Sea Bass and it was delicious. My taste has returned and I savored the flavors. Not needing to hold back on calories, we shared a 'Hula Pie' for dessert. This is very similar to a 'Mud Pie' except the ice cream is vanilla rather than coffee-flavored.

Later, I headed northbound to the mall with my son who was craving a cinnamon roll from Cinnabon after school. I confess it's not much traveling but it is north. Unfortunately, the new tea shop was in the vicinity and drew us in before we could scamper safely past it. I came out with 3 new loose leaf teas to try with my new 'Perfect Tea Maker'. Hmm..I need to be careful. This store is addicting. After the mall, we killed some time at Barnes & Noble. I just love that place!

As you can see from my escapades today, I'm feeling pretty good and enjoying the last few days of my time off.

No Aches Today - Almost Myself Again

My time off is coming to a quick end. I can't believe how the days fly by now. I have so much more to do. Maybe I should have waited to go back to work until the following Monday...nah...I'll be ready by Wednesday. There will always be work to do around here. I need to get away from the housework and get to the office where I do more challenging projects. Housework will get done as it usually did, on weekends or evenings.

Today I'm feeling pretty good. Tylenol was not needed during the day and I don't feel I need to take any this evening. I'm ready to put that bottle of pills away with the others I don't need anymore. It's nice to clear off the counter of all the drugs I was taking. I didn't have a lot, but more than a one-a-day vitamin is too many for me.

My mouth felt much better today. Not as much tingling going on in there. It helps to keep a bottle of water around all the time and sip from it often. And brushing with the Biotene toothpaste 3-4 times a day also helps. My nose is still stuffy, but I'm not worried. It will clear up soon.

I just zipped on over to the bathroom scale to see what I weigh now. In my pajamas I topped out at 117.2 lbs. Not bad after four rounds of chemotherapy. I think that was close to my starting weight. I'm still a little low from my target weight of 120, but I can add three pounds on in the next month or so. I hope it is muscle weight though and not fat. I need to get back to the fitness center and work with the machines again. Walking is good, but it doesn't build muscle.

Bone Aches are Almost Gone

This morning took me back to the lab for another blood draw. I sure hope that was my last for a while. I will know if I need to do any more after talking with the doctor on Monday. It didn't hurt but just having to do them is a petty annoyance. I know they are still watching my hemoglobin level and red blood cell count. We don't want these to plunge into the dangerous zone.

Retail therapy was next on the list for today.  Lucky day for me, I found a stock-up sale on basic t-shirts. I was looking for a variety of colors to layer under other shirts. I scored big time on the price and selection. 

The rest of the day was filled with small stuff like paying bills, reading and other miscellaneous errands.

I haven't taken any Tylenol all day. The aches are mild to none at all. I probably will take a couple before bed and then will probably not need the pills any more. At least not for the Neulasta shot bone aches. My mouth was  more off today than the last few days. The tingly sensation has returned to my mouth and tongue. And I've been battling a stuffy/runny nose again. I've had all this before and I know they are temporary symptoms. They will go away eventually.

 

Too Much To Do, So Little Time

Wow, the days are flying by now. I'm trying to get lots of stuff done before next week but the day comes to an end so quickly. I finally finished the wrestling photo project. I put together a decent collection of photographs of the various wrestlers, teams, and crazy wrestling poses. I added a little bit of photo editing to crop, straighten and correct any exposure issues. Today was the deadline to submit photos for the winter sports so I had to run out and deliver the CD to the Athletic Booster Club meeting that was being held tonight. Whew! Glad that is done. I should have worked on photos a little each week so I didn't have a pile to sort through at the end. Next year I'll get more organized. Uh, maybe.

I skipped the hill today when headed out for my walk and took the route through the park. Though it is longer, I think it is much easier because it is a level terrain. I had more bounce in my step and felt much stronger than yesterday. The aches have lessened such that the Tylenol makes me not feel them at all. I still took 3 doses today, but should need only a couple doses tomorrow, then perhaps, I'll not need any at all by Thursday.

Here's an update on my son and his pursuit of flying through the air via a tall pole. Pole vaulting is a very popular event at his school. 40 students wanted to be on the team. Usually, all applicants to the track and field team make the team just by showing up. But because of the large turnout for pole vaulting, a try-out was necessary and cuts had to be made. Only 25 would be chosen for the various teams (JV, Varsity, etc) The try-out test was yesterday and consisted of a total number of sit ups done in 2 minutes, a total number of push ups done in 2 minutes, best time for a 2-mile run and a 100-yard sprint. My son has no problem doing sit ups and push ups. Wrestling workouts make you do them all the time. The running would be his challenge but he came home yesterday feeling like he did pretty good and had a chance. Well, let's not keep you in suspense any more. He made the team! Today's practice was his first day with the pole, learning to run with it correctly and planting it. I don't think he had as much fun with that as he thought he was going to have. It's an awkward hold and a heavy pole and a new skill to master. He's been humbled. And only today does he start thinking about how scary it will be to be flying backwards over a bar up high in the air, and hopefully falling safely back down to the mat. Now "I" am nervous. I thought wrestling was scary. I'm in for another crazy sports season. Why couldn't he have chosen a nice safe sport like tennis?

More of the Same

There's not much new to share from yesterday's report. I'm still feeling the aches and still taking Tylenol to make them go away. Soon, I hope. Soon.

Weather-wise, I had no excuse not to get out and walk, so out I went. I took the shorter, 3-mile route, around the neighborhood, but the hill on this route was quite a challenge today. I plodded upwards at a snail's pace but eventually made it to the top and then back on around to home again. I better get out walking more often. I feel really out of shape. Of course, my legs aren't feeling their best right now.

For the majority of the day, I was busy working with my wrestling photos. I have quite a collection from the many meets I shot. I needed to sort through them all, selecting my best. These will be used by the Athletic Boosters Club in an "all-sports" PowerPoint slide presentation. My choices are made, but tomorrow's work will be to clean them up a bit using photo editing software. With work beginning next week, I need to get some of these last tasks taken care of before heading back to the office.

Continued Achiness

With no rest for the weary, the Neulasta drug kept up its kick, bringing aches throughout my hips, thigh bones, shins, and knees. I continue to take Tylenol every six hours but it doesn't completely erase the pain.  I believe the worst of it should be just about over. Just another day or two and my bones should stop singing the blues.

My mouth and throat haven't gotten any worse in spite of the fact that I am not using the salt/baking soda rinses. I'm gambling that I'll get over the mouth side effects without it. If all goes as before I should be feeling pretty much like myself by this next weekend.

I wasn't as tired today, so that's an improvement. Aside from church and a couple of quick errands, we kept close to home. The rain has gone and the sky was blue, but the air was definitely chilled. We can see snow in the nearby mountains. It was another day to stay warm and bundled up. During our mall excursion yesterday, I had bought a "Perfect Tea Maker" and some loose leaf tea. Today my son and I had fun making Youthberry tea and Peach Cran-Tango tea. Throw in some Girl Scout Shortbread cookies and we were  feeling fine.

A Book and a Blanket Kind of Day

The weather alone would have had me cuddled in a blanket with a good book. But the chemo drugs and Neulasta shot were causing their usual havoc to my body and I would have enjoyed the blanket and book on a warm and sunny day too. I'm definitely feeling under the weather, tired, and the aches come and go. I knew today was going to be a bit rough. Moving as little as possible seemed just fine with me.

Later in the afternoon, my son was bored from an overload of homework and we decided to head to the mall for a little bit of shopping and to just get out of the house to move around a bit. I don't think it helped me any but it didn't hurt either. The walk was probably good for me since I haven't got out in a while. He scored on some clothes and I found some tea and a tea maker. More Tylenol was needed when I returned home.

The rain has returned and there was even some hail. Did you hear that? My blanket and book are calling to me.

Tired Again Today

I'm still dragging today. If I could get a good night's sleep once in a while that would really help. I woke up too early today at 4:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. So another nap was needed before lunch.

I haven't had any real problems with achiness yet. I took the Claritin again this morning and will do so through Sunday. I'm also taking Tylenol doses every 6 hours. It seems to be working so far keeping the aches away. Saturday is usually the toughest day so I'll see how things progress tomorrow. I was hoping to go out for a walk today before the big cold storm rolls in but I just didn't feel up to it. Probably best to rest right now.

Food and water taste funny again. My mouth and tongue have the prickly feeling too. I probably should be using the salt/baking soda rinse but I just can't force myself to do it. The taste makes me gag. I'm going to go without and see what happens. If my mouth seems to take a turn for the worse, I'll start gargling away with the stuff.

The Neulasta Shot is Also a Thing of the Past

I had my last Neulasta shot today and I still don't like them. There's no pain when they put the needle in, but the cold drug burns uncomfortably as it is injected. The pain goes away right afterwards so it's only a temporary nuisance. The nurse tried to warm it up a bit with her hands but it felt no better than the last. I'm just thankful I don't need anymore of those and it did its job keeping me healthy these past couple of months.

So with the Neulasta shot comes the Claritin and Tylenol regimen. So far so good. I'm not feeling the aches yet. I'll take some more Tylenol in just a bit before bed and should sleep fine.

Speaking of sleep, I'm still catching up from Tuesday night. I forgot to mention I had only two hours of sleep the night before my chemotherapy. I just couldn't shut my mind down and was reading into the early morning. By 4:00am I finally fell asleep and that left me only two hours until the alarm went off. I got more sleep last night which helped, but I had to break for a nap after lunch today. I was just too pooped out. I'm feeling much better now and should sleep well tonight with the Tylenol in me.

My mouth is getting that funny feeling and taste is a bit off. Nothing I haven't experienced before. And again, still no nausea. The anti-nausea drugs work exceptionally well for me, but many of the patients I saw yesterday were complaining of nausea during treatment and were given more drugs to help them and prescription refills to fight it at home afterwards. I have two untouched bottles of pills that I've never needed. I'm still amazed how blessed I am to not have this problem and am able to keep a good appetite.

This evening I joined the ladies from our support group for a women's event held at our church. We enjoyed good food, fellowship, music, and a terrific speaker. The message was: "Our Faith: Are you Growing Up or Just Growing Old?" The speaker was awesome with a very inspirational and relevant message. Her humor kept us laughing throughout. It was a great way to end the day.

Yay! Last Chemo Infusion Done!

I know I still have that darn Neulasta shot tomorrow and the achiness that follows, but I'm enjoying tonight's good feeling - "No more chemotherapy!" Woohoo!

My red blood count and hemoglobin results were just about like last time, a little bit below the low bar but the nurse praised how good the results were for a person at my point in chemotherapy treatment. So no new shots or transfusions were needed to bring it up. Another blessing.

Getting the needle into my arm went much smoother than last treatment. And it was done by another nurse I hadn't seen before. My anxiousness was unnecessary and I was hooked up with minimal pain and effort. Whew! And I was good and kept the needle in throughout the infusion. The lady next to me was not as lucky and had her needle slip out at the end of her treatment and her arm was puffing up just like mine did that first time. The nurse hurried on over to her and took care of things very quickly. For her, it was just the final saline solution dripping into surrounding tissue. My needle slipped out during the infusion of one of the chemo drugs but they had diluted it quite a bit with saline since it was my first treatment and they were nervous how I might be affected by it especially because they were going to be closed a day early for the Christmas holiday.

I discussed my return to work with the administrator that handles the disability insurance stuff and the doctor okay'd my return date of March 9th, two weeks from today. I like the idea that it is a Wednesday so I have a short first week before the normal forty-hour weeks kick back in. I'm going back with no restrictions so no part-timing, just going to jump right back in there. Tomorrow I call the insurance company and have them start the return to work processing.

As for my next steps regarding my treatment plan, I have an appointment with the doctor March 7th to discuss what is needed next. I don't know if I will need any new tests or scans at this time. I do know I will be starting the hormone therapy, Tamoxifin, once a day for 5 years. I need to visit the lab again next Wednesday to have blood drawn to make sure the blood counts don't drop any lower causing concern. And finally, I'll find out how long I have to wait before I can have the next surgery to complete the reconstruction. It seems like I still have a lot ahead of me, but I'm getting there. One day, one week, one month at a time.

Here We Go Again

The last treatment cycle begins today. I've taken my first doses of Decadron and am ready to go for tomorrow. I am feeling great with no cold and with plenty of energy. My blood must be good enough.

I had lunch today with a friend from work. I enjoyed both the food and the visit. Afterwards I decided to follow her back to work and visit with all my friends, many I hadn't seen since before Christmas. I did my best to be disruptive and kept them from their work. :-)  Asking when I would be back to stay, I told them two weeks from tomorrow. I know I'll be ready to go by then. I just need to get my doctor on board to agree to the date so the disability insurance people can process the paperwork.

My son spent most of his last day off finishing his homework which consisted of two essays and studying for tests. We had some time together visiting a coffee house after dinner, enjoying a gourmet coffee and pastry.

The day and holiday weekend are just about over and tomorrow is business as usual for my husband and son. And for me - chemotherapy! ONE MORE TIME. Yay!!!

Presidents Day

School is out for my son today and tomorrow. A day off for each of the two presidents' birthdays. Unfortunately for him, he is spending these last days of his long weekend writing papers for school. That left me with some time on my hands.

I spent a fair part of the day caught up in a new book I had just started. It really has me hooked. I will probably finish it tomorrow. I did stretch my legs and went out for a walk today. It had been a while since I last walked due to the rain storms. The day was cool and a little breezy, but it felt good to get outside.

After taking my son to his scout meeting, we spent the rest of the evening watching "The Social Network". I really enjoyed the flick. That Zuckerberg dude seems like a real jerk, if the movie portrayed him correctly. But what a phenomenal website he has with Facebook. 

Tomorrow is the beginning of the end for my chemotherapy. It's time to take the Decadron again, the start of my last treatment cycle. My cold is pretty much gone so I am ready to go. Almost at the finish line.

A Quick Drop In

My cold is almost gone and I am as ready as I am going to be for Wednesday. I get antsy about this time as treatment day approaches. I just want it to get here and then be over. Patience, patience, patience.

The rain has let up but the temperatures are colder than usual. I kept a low profile most of the day. We did go out for dinner to check out the new "Tavern + Bowl" place at the mall. It's an 8-lane bowling alley with food and sports bar. The bowling looked like fun but the food was just the usual bar and grill type menu. We'll have to go back some day soon just for bowling. Bowling and beer...aahh...the good ole days.

Well, it's getting late and I need to catch up on some sleep. I didn't sleep very well last night waking up around 4am and having a hard time falling back to sleep. There will be no alarm clocks to wake us up tomorrow due to the holiday. I'm planning to sleep in. I sure hope I can stay asleep to enjoy it.

Rain, Rain and More Rain

The second storm has moved in and we are getting pounded by it. We did venture out into it but dodged the heavy stuff. Lucky me, I was able to spend some time with my son today, enjoying lunch together and a trip to Barnes & Noble. We love book stores! It runs in the family. We didn't actually buy any books at B&N but browsed the shelves and ended our visit having a Macchiato and slice of cheesecake at the store's Starbucks cafe. Mmmm....good stuff! I'm trying to squeeze in tasty food while the taste buds are working. After Wednesday, I'll be tasting lifeless food for awhile.

My cold continues to clear up. Just a little stuffy today. I'll be fine by Wednesday. I'm still not feeling any fatigue so my red blood cell count must be good enough. I can't be too anemic, if at all.

My son is patiently waiting for me to finish this post so we can squeeze in a quick game before bed. That will wrap up our Saturday.

Still Nursing My Cold

I feel better than yesterday, but am still dealing with a stuffy nose. The rest of the head cold symptoms are diminishing so maybe this cold is on its way out. I should be as well as I can be by Wednesday. No calls about blood deficiencies so still good news in that area too. Of course, the doctor may not have the results yet. I really don't know how long it takes to get the results from the lab to the doctor.

The rain has returned today and should last into tomorrow. I stayed in most of the day doing laundry but had to get out into the wet weather for a couple of errands. I bundled up and was lucky to miss the heavier showers when I needed to leave the car. I stayed warm and dry and none the worse for wear.

My son has a four-day weekend ahead of him due to the Presidents Day holidays. I'm hoping to spend some time with him. I'm usually third in line after his homework and his girlfriend. It could be worse. He could have his driver's license and a car.

This Cold is Keeping Me Down

It's so hard to get moving with a head cold. But I knew it would be best to lay low and take care of myself today. So I wrapped myself in a blanket and watched a Netflix movie, did lots of reading, watched last night's episode of American Idol, and tried to take a nap. I say 'tried' to take a nap, because I never really fell asleep, but was too tired to keep my eyes open to read. At least I was resting. The cold is no worse than yesterday. I'm hoping it stays in my head and doesn't move into my lungs adding a cough with it. So far so good.

I received two calls from the disability insurance company today. One was the "Return to Work Coordinator" checking on how I was doing. I asked her how to go about getting back to work. Seems easy enough after I talk with my doctor and set the date to return. The second call was someone asking me to talk with my doctor's office and ask them to release my records. Seems like they are slow to do their part. The insurance company needs to keep getting updates regarding my status to keep the claim open and their paperwork needs to be in order to transition from short-term disability to long-term disability. The long-term disability won't be needed since I plan to return to work before my 12-weeks of short-term disability runs out. I just need to get my doctor's admin moving on releasing my records with my return-to-work date.

The rain has taken a break today, but the weather report is showing it is coming back tomorrow and Saturday. If I had been feeling better, I would have gotten out for a walk in-between the storms. Looks like I'll be stuck indoors for the next day or two. Oh well, more rest will be good for me.

Oh, It's Definitely a Cold

Yes, I really have a cold this time. Just an annoying head cold but it has the classic symptoms, stuffy/runny nose, burning eyes and nose, popping ears. I hope I can knock it down in a day or two. I really want to be well by next Wednesday.

I gave up some more blood today at the lab. I keep crossing my fingers that my blood counts stay up there. I am so close to having these treatments over, I don't want anything to delay this last one. I don't feel fatigued at all so maybe the red blood cells are hanging in there.

The rain came today as predicted so indoor activities were on my agenda. After the lab visit, I decided to go shopping and check out Ross's again for new merchandise. I just love their low prices which agree with my budget. I found a couple of shirts, a couple of workout pants (I will get back to the gym someday soon) and a cute pair of shoes. Another successful trip. Next I headed to the movies. I chose a chick-flick, "From Prada to Nada". I found it entertaining enough.

To wrap up the day, this evening I attended the monthly Athletic Boosters meeting. I'm the wrestling team representative so I'm expected to go to these. And now it's time to call it a day. I really need to get to bed and take care of this cold.

Sewing Day Today

The day began looking like the rain was going to come early so I hurried out for a walk right after breakfast. As it turned out, the day got nicer and nicer as it went on. Looks like the rain will come tomorrow as predicted. 

My sewing and mending got done today. Well, almost. I still have a pair of my son's shorts that needs a zipper replaced. I'm trying to decide if it's worth the pain to fix them or should we just go buy another pair. This particular pair of shorts has some history though. One day my son came home with gum all over the back of these shorts. With the help of the Internet, some ice, a scraper, Goo Gone, Shout, and the washing machine, I amazingly removed all the pink gum from his grey shorts. Unfortunately, the very next time he wore them, the zipper breaks! I hate giving up on these shorts. They are in excellent condition aside from the zipper. Removing the old zipper wasn't difficult, but now it looks quite complicated to put the new one in correctly. I'll just set them aside for a day or two...or three...

It feels again like I'm getting a cold, but it's hard to tell anymore. I'm all stuffy once again. Maybe it's the weather, or allergies, or chemo or...who knows? I'll probably be fine tomorrow or the next day. Well, I'm getting pretty tired and will now head off to bed. It's lab day tomorrow. Fun, fun.

Happy Valentines Day!

Today I found myself with lots of energy. I started my day with a walk after breakfast. I need to squeeze in a couple of walks before the rain comes on Wednesday, if the weatherman's predictions are correct. I went for the longer route today and had no problem doing the 4 miles.

With my energy level high, I felt it was time for another cleaning project. So I started attacking my office desk. I have accumulated way too much stuff that fills the shelves from top to bottom. There is a lot of outdated computer disks and books that surely won't be missed. And then there's the saved boxes from software purchases, old magazines, papers, and lots and lots of other clutter. I didn't finish the job, but put a good dent into it. I'll get back on it tomorrow.

I had also wanted to get some sewing done today. I have some clothes that need seam or zipper repairs. The problem was I needed more bobbins. My sewing machine is quite old and as I found out today, the bobbins are quite difficult to locate. I drove all around town to several stores searching for them. At last I found the bobbins and grabbed a dozen of them, worried I might not find them the next time I needed some. By the time I had them, it was late afternoon and almost time to pick up my son. I decided to hold off on the sewing until tomorrow and worked a little bit more on my desk instead.

I haven't received a call from the oncology center regarding my blood test results from last week. In this case, no news is good news. My red blood cell count must be hanging in there. Whew!

A Routine Sunday

There has been nothing out of the ordinary to report today. I am feeling pretty good overall. The weather is still very dry. Because of this, my mouth gets drier than usual and my lips burn due to the lack of moisture. I always have a bottle of water near me. Thankfully, this Santa Ana weather is not expected to last much longer. By Wednesday we will have quite a dip in temperature and rain is expected for 2-3 days. The moisture will be much appreciated.

I decided to check my weight today. I hadn't done that in a while. It registered almost 118 lbs. I guess I am eating well enough. If I was working out with weights, I would probably have a few more pounds of muscle weight on me too. But I'm just sticking to walking for now. No need to exert myself until I'm done with this last treatment and I've recovered from it. I'm looking forward to getting back to the fitness center though. I really need to get my muscle tone back.

Finally - Wrestling Season Over

It was another long day for wrestlers and wrestling parents. I survived seven more hours in the bleachers today.  But it is over now for the Freshman and JV wrestlers. My son didn't medal but had a lot of fun with his team. When we got home at 4:30pm, he dropped onto the couch and fell asleep. He has just woken up to take a shower. It's 10:20pm. I've been enjoying the past hours with a good book and a well-cushioned chair. I want to mention, back in December when I was getting ready for chemotherapy, I was so worried I would miss some of the wrestling meets and tournaments due to the expected side effects of the treatment and worries of being in crowds where I could pick up germs and get sick. How different it all turned out. How lucky I was to be able to attend all meets and tournaments. Of course, at some of them I wasn't feeling my best, but I still enjoyed being there and watching my son and his team compete.

My mouth and throat are better today than yesterday. The salt/baking soda mouthwash I used last night really helped. I should use some more tonight but I'm not going to stomach that taste today. I will see how my mouth feels tomorrow and will use the yucky mix if my throat doesn't improve on its own. It's been a long day, so I'm going to head off to bed for some well-needed sleep.

A Very, Very Long Day

I started my morning with a walk after breakfast while the laundry was doing its thing. I ran some errands after lunch and then headed out to the wrestling tournament.

I find wrestling tournaments are quite brutal for both the wrestler and for the parents who have to sit in bleachers watching for hours. Today's JV Rumble tournament started right after school at 4:00pm and ended around 9:30pm. And then it continues again tomorrow with weigh-ins at 7:00am and wrestling at 9:00am. This is our first 2-day event. The kids are exhausted. They had school yesterday, their league match last night, school today, the tournament afterwards, and then they still need to make it through a long day wrestling tomorrow. It's crazy!

My mouth is not feeling so well today. I know the dry weather is not helping. The back of my mouth is getting a little sore, my tongue burns a bit as well as my lips. I'm going to try the yucky salt/baking soda mouthwash after this post to see if I can heal it up. I'm hoping I don't come down with a cold either. There were a few of our wrestlers as well as other teams with kids sick and coughing. I'm counting on that bone-aching Neulasta shot to keep on shielding me. I'll do my mouthwash and then to bed. Gotta stay well.

Santa Ana Weather is Nice and Warm but Way Too Dry

The dry Santa Ana winds are really messing with my sinuses today.  I feel like I have a head cold. My mouth and nose are drier than the usual effects of chemo. My tongue and lips are burning in protest. And for most of the evening, I suffered a headache. This was finally a day of no achy bones or joints and I thought I would not need any Tylenol. But the headache would not go away on its own so I had to take some Tylenol anyways. I'll be glad when this Santa Ana moves on out of here. But I think it is going to hang on through the weekend. Hmmph.

I got out this morning for another volunteer event at my son's school - bagging donuts for the "Student of the Month" awards. Later I stayed out of the dry weather by heading to the mall. I've been needing some smaller jeans since my weight loss. All my pants have to be cinched up with a belt. It turned out to be a good day shopping. I brought home several pairs that fit more snuggly.

For our evening entertainment, it was the last league wrestling meet for the season and another brutal defeat for us by a rival school in our city. But for my son, it was an awesome night! He won his first varsity match tonight, pinning his opponent within the first 2 minutes. His match was one of  the two winning matches for our team and he was the only one to pin for a win. Woohoo! The last tournament he will compete in is the JV Rumble tomorrow and Saturday. Then the season is over for the JV team. I'm crossing my fingers he does well in the tournament.

Just a Routine Lab Day

The blood draw at the lab went without a problem. I was more nervous than usual taking the needle stick. After last week at the oncology clinic, I'm afraid for my veins. But all turned out well. This lab has been doing a great job.

I had a more productive day today, accomplishing most of what I wanted to get done. I made one change on my list though, swapping out my walk for a nap instead. I was getting drowsy while reading in the afternoon and decided to lay down for an hour. Well, I didn't want to get up and went back to sleep for another hour. I missed my walk because of that. You would have thought I'd feel more energetic afterwards, but I just felt more tired. Naps usually do that to me and I avoid them for that reason. I think if I keep them short, no longer than an hour, I feel more rested.

I haven't needed any Tylenol today and might skip tonight's dose if my legs continue to feel okay. I'll take some if I need it though. I want a good night's sleep. I have a busy day tomorrow.

Stayed Put Today - Just Plain Lazy

I hung out around the house today. I got stuck in a lazy mood and couldn't motivate myself to get more done.

I went out for a walk early in the morning before my mood became tainted. This time I had more pep in my step. I did the park route which is 4 miles but there are no hills. It was a much improved performance from yesterday's crawl around the neighborhood. I was thinking about getting out for a movie, but chose to watch a rental instead. The movie was "Eat, Pray, Love". A 'chick' flick pretty much.

I continue to heal from the aches and pains. I still need a couple of Tylenol doses per day, one in the afternoon and one before bed. Maybe I will get away with only one dose tomorrow, just before bed. Then off of them as soon as I can.

It's lab day tomorrow. I'm going to dream red blood cells tonight so the results come out good.

I Was Fine When I Didn't Leave the House

Today would have gone smoother if I had never left the house.

This morning I stayed in and did some house cleaning and catching up on my American Idol recordings from last week. Everything was just fine. But bad things happened when I decided to venture outside. After lunch I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood. I took a couple of Tylenols an hour earlier to help with knee aches. The walk was as slow as molasses, especially up the hill. I was not at my best for sure. I did make it around and soon, the end was in sight. Unfortunately, what was not in my sight, was the wood sticking out of my husband's truck that I stupidly ran into when I was coming into the driveway. I had my head down and not paying attention, then "wham!", I was dazed by the collision. Sheesh! As if I didn't have enough problems to worry about I had to add a lump on my forehead. I'd love to blame this one on 'chemo brain' and lack of focus, but I'll just chalk it up to stupidity. 

Then later on, I headed out to pick up my son from wrestling practice. As I was waiting for him, I had the car off, radio on, and was reading a book. He showed up a bit later than usual due to helping clean up mats. We were one of the last few cars in the parking lot. So I start up the car...or, at least I tried to start up the car. The battery had died! What bad luck I was having. I had to call home to have my husband come and give my battery a jump. We found the battery had a terminal that was quite corroded. The car started successfully on its own after we got home and cleaned up the terminals. I hope that is all it needed and that there is not a short causing trouble. We'll see how it behaves tomorrow.

I need some more Tylenol tonight. My knees, calves, ankles, and right shoulder are still causing some discomfort. Nothing serious, but I won't be able to fall asleep until the aches go away. I'm only taking Tylenol as needed now. My bones and joints are getting better each day. Food is still funny tasting but everything else is going okay. I hope I do better during tomorrow's walk. I guess 'my' battery was running low today too.

Joined the Masses and Watched the Super Bowl Anyways

I had a different idea of how I was hoping to spend today, but change happens and I had to mix things up a bit. The weather was beautiful, around 78 degrees. My idea was to head to the park with my son for some disc golf. We hadn't done that in a while due to my treatment schedules or his homework load. Unfortunately for 'Mom', his girlfriend beat me out. Sigh. Through the magic of text messaging, they threw together plans to meet as we were heading home from church. And guess where their plans led? To the park for a picnic and disc golf. Ha ha. At least we all have the same interests. I really was happy to drop him off with her. He doesn't get to see her very often since they go to different schools, so the time they get together is important. But now I needed something to do. Well, there was that big football game on...and maybe some cool commercials. Okay, I'll give it a try.

So I stuck around the house and watched the game, rooting for my old team the Pittsburgh Steelers. They certainly kept the game interesting. The ending was disappointing but I hadn't watched them all year, so I couldn't be too crushed. I was surprisingly disappointed with the commercials this year. Nothing really over the edge. Even Budweiser failed to amuse me. Sigh...I think I should have headed to the mall instead. It wasn't a total bust. While watching the game I worked on some new crocheting stitches and techniques.

Related to chemotherapy and its side-effects, I feel a whole lot better today than yesterday. I continue to take around-the-clock Tylenol and today it was keeping the aches subdued. The hour before my last dose was a tad achy but the pills are kicking in and I should sleep fine tonight. The aches are not so much in the big bones now. The aches have moved into my joints, like my knees and shoulders. Oh well, a couple more days and I should be off the pain meds. Everything else is manageable. I went to bed much earlier last night and was able to get a well-needed rest. It really helped. I had lots more energy today and didn't feel like I was plagued with the flu. I guess I'll just keep plugging along now, getting myself stronger and ready for that last round. Almost there.

Rougher Than Usual

It wasn't one of my bestest days today. I survived an all-day wrestling tournament, but had to deal with achy bones throughout. I'm sure sitting on wooden bleachers for 6 hours wasn't helpful. I continue to take two Tylenol every 6 hours but it isn't quite working today. My hips, thighs, shins, and upper arms feel like they have been battered and beaten. My head, mouth, and nose don't feel quite well either. I guess I feel pretty much like I have the flu today, except without the fever and chills. A fever would be a BAD thing. It's the kind of day when you feel like curling up under a blanket with a book. I believe that is were I'll be headed after this post.

It's the Super Bowl tomorrow. I wonder what  I will do with myself. I really don't care who wins this one so I'll be looking for another diversion. Maybe if the aches subside, my son and I will head to the park for a round of disc golf. I think I'll just be his caddy this time, but the walk will do me good and the weather is supposed to be in the mid-70's. It may be doable.

An Up and Down Kind of Day

Let's get the "downs" out of the way. Downer #1: Oh those pesky bone aches are back again! I'm taking Tylenol, but I do feel the aches this evening. I messed up on my timing of taking the pills and won't be able to take another dose until midnight. I'm expecting to be asleep by that time. If the aches get bad, I'm sure they will wake me up. Downer #2: I am so tired. I haven't had a good sleep in the last three days and am running low on energy. The steroids were probably the culprit there. In the afternoon, I dozed a bit in a chair when trying to read but should have just laid down for a solid nap. I'm definitely heading to bed early tonight. I have to get up early tomorrow for a wrestling tournament.

But the day brought some great "ups" too. This morning we had another one of our Women's Cancer Support group meetings. I always enjoy this time with my new lady friends. We had lots to praise about today. It was a good morning. Then, later in the afternoon, I met up with a small group of friends from work for happy hour. Of course, I was not partaking of any 'happy' beverages, but was content with my glass of water and my friends all around me. I really miss hanging out with them all and can't wait to get back to work and be part of the team again. Sounds like there is a lot going on. I need to hurry back!

And how is this last chemo round affecting me? Still no nausea - that's good news again. My tongue tingles and food is tasting funny or lifeless again. Nothing bad, just different. And as I mentioned above, I ache and I'm tired. Nothing new, and all pretty much expected. In a few days I'll be back up to feeling myself. At least I hope so, if I can keep from getting anemic.

Another Neulasta Shot - Hoping the Tylenol Does It's Job

I'm not liking these Neulasta shots. And I'm not even complaining about the bone aches it causes. It burns when they give it to me. The nurse tells me as I'm gritting my teeth, "It's funny, some people don't feel this shot at all". And I also know, some people don't get the bone aches from it either. I guess since I don't get as many chemo side effects, this one shot is making sure I get my treatment's worth! Sheesh! Maybe it's just needles in general. They haven't been playing fair with me lately. The positive out of this is, round 3 is almost over and only 1 more round to go!

I'm on my scheduled Tylenol doses, every six hours. It's working so far, but the bone pain usually kicks up in the next 1-3 days. Hopefully, I can get through this round as well as the last one. I went out for my walk early today before the shot had a chance to take affect.

It was Thursday wrestling night again. Not a good night for either the JV or Varsity teams. My son almost had his guy but got flipped around wrong and was pinned. A real bummer. He has been wrestling the last few meets on the Varsity team due to the wrestler in his weight class being injured. We've been up against some tough teams. He has two more tournaments the next 2 Saturdays and a final dual meet next Thursday and then the season is over for him. The regular varsity guys have a couple more tournaments before state finals if any of the wrestlers qualify. But for my son, he's moving on. He's going to join the track and field team this spring...as a pole vaulter! Yikes! Should be an interesting season for us.

Treatment is Over, but It Wasn't as Smooth as I Would Have Liked It

I was so ready for today. So ready. I walked into the back room to pick my chair. Then I became very uneasy when I saw that there were different nurses on duty today. I really looked forward to seeing the team from the first 2 rounds. But one had finally moved on to retirement and the other was subbing for a doctor doing patient office visits. The new nurses were really friendly and very nice, but when it comes to putting needles in me, I trusted the two others who hadn't done me wrong.

So there I am, a bit nervous, but hoping for the best. It was not to be. It took 3 tries, into 3 different veins to get the needle in. The first nurse called over the second nurse after her first two tries failed. The second nurse got it in without any more damage. Ouch! That was not a good beginning at all. I can't blame the nurse, she was doing great with other patients. And I noticed the second nurse also had some trouble with another patient. I guess my veins just weren't cooperating today. Thank goodness I only have to go through that one more time.

The appointment lasted an hour longer than usual today, 4 1/2 hours total. The office had experienced delays getting the drug deliveries due to the storms and flight cancellations from the Midwest. This caused delays getting the preparation of drugs to us. And it was a full house today, all chairs taken. But at last, the last drip dripped and the alarm sounded that my last fluid bag was empty. Whew!

I am feeling fine as I have felt after the last two rounds. Still no nausea. The anti-nausea medicines are a blessing. They really work for me. My blood results weren't as solid as the last two times. My white blood count was up due to the Neulasta shot. That's good. But my red blood count was a bit low as were a couple of other related results. I guess I'm bordering on anemic. They told me it's nothing to worry about now. The numbers aren't slowly sliding down. They are just bouncing around a bit, fluctuating around the low border line. Sometimes acceptable, this time on the low side. They will keep a watch for the blood test results as I go in on my Wednesday lab days. If it gets too low, they'll call me in. They mentioned something about how I might need a transfusion. Oh, no! More infusion needles! I can't have that. I will make sure to take my multi-vitamins daily and eat more spinach! There is also another shot, similar to the Neulasta shot that they give me to increase my white blood cells. This other shot would help increase the red blood cells. They could choose that route but the insurance company would have to approve it and they don't like to. And then, maybe I'll just need to take an iron supplement, though I don't like those either. I guess I'll just concentrate on what I can do with my diet and One-A-Day Vitamins for now.

Tried Some Cleaning, but a Movie Sounded Like More Fun

Today I started taking the premed Decadron pills again, getting my body ready for the Chemo drugs. Two little green pills, twice a day, the day before Chemo and the day after.

After breakfast, I set out with an honest effort to get some housecleaning done as I had planned to do. I got both bathrooms cleaned and a load of laundry. That seemed like an honest effort to me. I had also planned to see a movie today, so this seemed like a nice place to stop. I can always do more cleaning Thursday and Friday before the aches set in. The steroids should keep my energy levels up for the next couple of days so I can get the dusting, mopping and vacuuming done then.

The movie I saw today was "The King's Speech". If you haven't seen this one yet, I highly recommend it. It is the story about King George VI of England, who reluctantly becomes king in 1936 when his older brother abdicates the throne. King George VI has a stuttering problem and works to overcome it with the help of a crazy dude named Lionel Logue. This movie has grabbed a lot of Oscar nominations, twelve total, including Best Picture, Best Supporting Actress, Best Director, Best Original Script and Best Actor. It's a must see!

And then comes tomorrow.....Chemo Day! Finally!

Just a Quick Note

I haven't a whole lot to share today. I did some grocery shopping to stock up before my next treatment. I'll probably do some cleaning tomorrow so everything is taken care of. I start taking the steroids again tomorrow. Perhaps this time they will give me a boost to help with the housecleaning. I am definitely ready for Wednesday.

Rainy Sunday

The afternoon brought rain that hasn't quite ended. The temperature was on the chilly side. It was a good day to build a fire in the fireplace. My scouting son had a crackling fire going in no time. Though he was having no fun in front of it doing his homework, I enjoyed the cozy warmth while crocheting or reading a book.

My nose wasn't as runny or stuffy today. Maybe it really is allergies. I looked up the pollen count for today and the past week. Last week the count was moderate to high. Today it is low, probably because of the rain. Hmmm. I have always had seasonal stuffy nose problems. Nothing bad, but I know something out there affects me. So it is a toss-up and I'm going to give up figuring out which it is because it really doesn't matter. I can't change either problem. I'll just sniff my way through it and it will eventually clear up. Maybe the Claritin will help when I start taking it on Thursday to help counter the aches of the Neulasta shot.

My mouth has been feeling kind of funny today and my tongue is tingling again. Perhaps I will swish my mouth out with the salt/baking soda rinse. Or maybe not. The taste really makes me gag. Oh, I will do it. I don't want any problems right now. I have another chemo treatment in 3 days. It will provide its own round of side effects. No need to have any going in to it.

Getting Into Crocheting - Finally!

I finally got a start on my renewed crocheting hobby. I was amazed how much I didn't remember or didn't know. I don't think I ever learned many of the basic stitches. Many years ago I had made two afghans and just learned enough about the stitches in those projects. I'm finding there are a few basics I don't remember or never learned. I'm definitely having fun with it. I'll just keep following the lessons in the book while I look around for an afghan I want to make for my first project.

I have nothing new to report about my health and well-being. I'm getting myself all psyched up for my next treatment this coming week. I actually look forward to them because each one done is one closer to the last one. And because the drugs don't mess with me too bad, I don't dread the next treatment as others may do because their side effects are much harsher.

My son is back from camp. The scout camp was hosting a work weekend that included job interviews. He is hoping to be hired on as a counselor for the summer. A real paying job. It's hard to find jobs when you are only 16. Actually, it's hard finding jobs at any age nowadays. So today he was observed as he worked with a team doing tasks around camp. He also had a sit-down interview where they asked lots of questions. The interviews were taped and will be reviewed by another staff member who will help in the hiring process. There is one more work/interview weekend in February for other applicants that couldn't make this weekend. Then we wait for their decision. We have no idea how soon that will be. I really hope he gets hired. He worked as a volunteer counselor-in-training last summer and really loved the camp, the work, and especially the people he worked with and for. How great is that!

Busy, Busy, Busy

I had a very busy day today with laundry, ironing, a trip to drop off donations to Goodwill (from all that cleaning of closets and cabinets), getting my son packed for a weekend work/interview camp, and then the long drive to drop him off and then back home again.

I'm always so amazed how much energy I have and how much I do in a day's time. And I'm at a loss at how I did all this stuff and worked full time. I was more fatigued back then, then I am now. I know I have to learn how to manage all my duties when I get back to full-time work. I often wonder if my run-down, lack of sleep, over-stressed life, was the door the cancer came in by. My body may have been too vulnerable. In case this theory has merit, I will need to adjust my life to stay well-rested, to control my stress levels, to maintain proper nutrition and exercise, and to fill myself with inner peace and joy. That's a pretty tall order, but I think it needs to be taken seriously if I want to keep cancer from taking hold again.

I don't know what to think about my runny nose. I've ruled out a cold. So it's either allergies or a side effect of chemotherapy. I'm leaning toward the cause being the chemotherapy. I read that a runny nose and watery eyes (I have that too) are very common side effects during treatment. I guess I'll just have to put up with both for a little while.

My crocheting hasn't gotten anywhere yet. But tomorrow I will have lots of time to work on it with my son being off to camp. I will soon become the Master of Hook and Yarn! Ha ha!

How to Drink Ensure and Live to Tell About It

Okay, Ensure won't kill you but it is definitely not a pleasant drink on its own. You have to add delicious tasting ingredients to it to make the beverage drinkable.

I have been trying to include a serving of Ensure every day or two to help with weight gain and as a nutrition boost. At first I was buying the regular Ensure but have now upgraded to the 'muscle health' mix. The problem with Ensure is that I find the smell of it quite disgusting and cannot conceive of drinking a bottle of this stuff straight up. I have to blend it with other ingredients to get rid of the smell and aftertaste. My usual blend has been a dark chocolate Ensure, some vanilla ice cream and a scoop of vanilla or chocolate protein powder. This makes a nice tall smoothie that is very palatable. Today I swapped the ice cream out for a frozen banana. This turned out to be quite delicious. I messed up on the frozen banana though. I had thrown a well-ripened banana into the freezer leaving the skin on. This is not a good idea. The banana was rock hard and the skin will not peel off this way. I had to get out my vegetable peeler and peel the dang thing like a potato. Obviously, I have much to learn about making smoothies.

My day was full and included another 4-mile walk,  a trip for groceries, more reading, and another wrestling meet this evening.Unfortunately, it was another heartbreaking loss for our school. Sigh. I haven't started crocheting yet, but I did open up the book and read through the first couple of introduction chapters. Nothing new there. Tomorrow I should be working through the beginning stitches and a pattern or two if I can sit down for an hour or so with it.

Wednesday Lab Day Again

It is Wednesday and time for another needle. If it is not a chemo treatment day, then it is 'visit the lab' day and time to ante up some more blood. I guess the results from last week must have been acceptable. Nobody has called me with any concerns.

Since I had to go out today, I kept myself a-moving. No lazy day for me. After the lab I headed over to my favorite bookstore to pick up a book on crocheting. Then I scooted right next door to Michael's to get some crochet hooks and yarn. I've got everything I need now. Everything is all put in to a tote just ready for me to start doing something creative with it...anytime now... Okay, I will definitely get on to that tomorrow. I am going to whip up an afghan or two. Ha ha.

I made sure not to skip my walk today. I did the 4-mile loop through the park and felt pretty good afterwards. I really like listening to podcasts when walking. They make the time go by fast.

Lazy Day Today

I have no excuse. I was just lazy today. No cleaning projects, no walking; no getting out of the house at all. I did catch up on lots of reading (magazines and books) and I watched a Netflix movie, "Iron Man 2".

I decided to drag out my crocheting stuff and look for an afghan to make to help fill in some of my idle time. I searched in all the right places, but came up with just 2 hooks, a skein each of light yellow and light green yarn, and one afghan book. I thought I had some how-to books around here. I wasn't that experienced before, having crocheted only 2 afghans in my past. I could use a book on techniques and how to crochet different kinds of stitches. I'm not ready to jump right into an afghan pattern. It appears I will have to visit Michael's tomorrow and put together what I need for this project.

My nose continues to be a bit stuffy on and off. I'm ruling out a cold since it would have turned into that by now. It's probably just some annoying side effect of chemotherapy. As long as there is no fever involved, I'm okay. I do not want any reason to postpone next week's treatment.

My Hair Gets Too Much Attention

Tonight was scout night. I took my son to his weekly meeting and tried to blend into the background reading my book. Near the end of the meeting, one of the fathers of a scout in my son's patrol spotted me and came over to say 'hi'. I also knew he wanted to discuss carpooling for a camp his son and mine were going to this weekend. As he approached, he became all excited over my hair. "Wow, just look at you! Got yourself a new hairdo. Working on a younger look?", he chuckled.  Wow, did I feel uncomfortable. But I pulled myself together, smiled and said "Yeah, it's a new look. And how how are you doing this evening? Let's work out the carpool details for this weekend." I needed a quick change of subject to get the focus off me and my hair. Yikes! I have no plans to tell everybody that knows me that I've had cancer and I'm doing chemotherapy. The scouts and parents don't really need to know. I just want to look and feel normal. But I sure was a bit flustered tonight when my hair grabbed all the focus. I guess it's a good thing that it looked real to this gentleman, but will it look real when it never grows out or changes in any way?  I suppose my secret will eventually get out in time. Hopefully by then, the chemotherapy treatments will be over and I will be starting to grow some hair under the wig. Maybe.

Turbo Walking Today

Another warm January day, in the mid-70's had me back out for a walk. I don't like to miss more than a day or two of walking and the weather was too nice to stay inside, so out I went. I headed out to the lake today. For those who know where I live, I walked out to the pedestrian bridge that spans the lake. It's so cool to see the lake on both sides of the bridge now. Before the rains the water level had dropped so low it looked like a marsh under the bridge and to the east of the bridge there was no water at all. But all those days of soaking rains have filled the lake back up. While stopping for a short rest I spotted some big lazy catfish hanging out down below the bridge.

Usually I walk without music because I'm too lazy to go find my IPod Shuffle. And it appears I'm also too lazy to load my Blackberry phone with some songs since that has happened either. But today I decided to download some Podcasts to my phone to listen to during my walk. Podcasts are fun! I listened to an episode each of "Stuff You Missed in History Class" (Louix XIV and a poisoning scandal), "Bible Study Podcast"(discussion of Genesis 1), and "Mostly Trivial" (a short trivia game). Lastly, I tuned into a music workout podcast. Oh my gosh! It was some crazy pounding music like what they use in cardio exercise classes. The beat rate was way too fast for my walk, but I kept trying to keep my legs moving in sync with the music. My calves were not amused with my over-zealous exercise program today and now complain with soreness. I'll have to look for a music workout podcast with a slower beat rate for next time. I like that it makes me keep a brisk pace, but that was turbo brisk. The walk was a good distance - from home to across the bridge and back is just over 4 miles.

I still have the nagging cold like feeling but it hasn't gotten any worse nor has it got me down. Just a drippy, stuffy nose. I can deal with that.

Feels Like a Cold Coming On

It's funny how one day I'm feeling awesome, then the next day I feel a few notches off. I felt fine this morning, volunteering for a 2-hour slot at the concession stand at a Varsity Wrestling Tournament our school was hosting. Afterwards I headed home, choosing not to stay and watch the tournament since my son was not wrestling and was working the scoring tables instead. I did a little laundry, but spent the majority of the afternoon reading and catching up on last week's recorded shows of American Idol. I just didn't have the up-and-go I felt the last couple of days. I even skipped my walk. As the day went on, my nose started getting drippy, then stuffy. I feel just on the edge of getting a cold. But it could be allergies or maybe just the chemo drugs messing with me. I've gotten this feeling before and it cleared up without ever becoming a full-on cold. I think it would be best to head to bed a bit earlier tonight.

Hair & Head Update

I was thinking about what to write about today. There is little to say about how I'm feeling since I am doing really well at this time and have no real complaints. So I thought I'd talk about my hair, or what is left of it.

The last time I mentioned my head and hair was about a week and a half ago right after the buzz cut. I had noted how my scalp was stinging much like a sunburn and the shorter hairs were still falling out. Well, the stinging hasn't gone away 100 percent but it has much improved. If I press on my head, right along the part line, it is just a little sore. The sides and back are fine so I am not bothered when laying down to sleep and I'm comfortable wearing my wig all day long. As for the hair, I actually still have some. From a distance, it looks like all scalp, but up close, my head has an even covering of sparse hairs, very light or white. And they have actually grown since the buzz cut. Trying to rub them away or pull them out doesn't work. I'm not sure what to think about this. I wonder if I will lose all of it or not. Talking to other ladies who have had hair loss due to chemotherapy, their results have varied. Some lost all their hair, while others did not and were left with sparse patches of hair. We are back to that old saying, "everybody is different" and we all are affected differently by the chemotherapy drugs. I guess I'll just see what happens in the coming days and weeks. As for my legs, great news there. After my last shave a week ago, I haven't had to shave since. Now there's something positive! I'm really going to enjoy not having to shave very often, or perhaps, not at all during shorts weather.

Regarding bone aches and the use of Tylenol, I won't be needing any more until next round. I did not take any pills last night and slept without a problem. I am so ready for the third treatment now.

A Little Bit of Everything

I think the bone and joint aches are truly gone for now. I didn't need any Tylenol throughout the day and am going to skip my before bed dose tonight. My mouth feels better and my tongue doesn't tingle. It's all uphill now until the next treatment.

I had lots of energy today so I made sure to get out for a walk. I chose a different route today, passing up the hilly 3-mile walk around the neighborhood for a longer, 4-mile walk, that passes through the park. This walk was a lot more interesting. Out on the trails I found the expected retired folks and dog walkers. Among the disk golf crowd, young people were replaced by a much older generation. I also saw a fitness group for moms with strollers assembled in a circle doing exercises with resistive bands. You would think just pushing a loaded up stroller around the park would be exercise enough. No, not when you join Deb's Fitness Bootycamp for Mommies!

I spent a bit of time back in the kitchen again. I've been cleaning and organizing all the drawers and cabinets this week. Pretty exciting stuff, huh? Well, I'm almost done with that room. I think the refrigerator may be next on the list. Oh, then there's the oven. Hmmm. I guess I could say I'm getting an early start on my spring cleaning. I know for sure, I'm definitely keeping my real day job. Housework is boring. But, I am looking forward to getting what I can get done before heading back to work. I can barely keep to a weekly housecleaning then.

The day ended with the weekly wrestling meet. The team our school battled tonight is ranked 2nd in the county. We are not even close. It was quite a massacre for both the JV and Varsity teams. Better luck next week.

Getting Out of the House is a Mood Lifter

I had a great day today. I did less work around the house by getting out of it. It really works! Ha ha!

It's a Wednesday, so I started my outings with a trip to the lab to give up more blood. Those gals are great. I never felt the needle.

For fun (not that needles aren't any fun), I chose to go out to the movies. Being I haven't been to a movie in months, I had many to choose from. The latest Harry Potter movie was still showing so I decided on that one. I wasn't sure if I could sit for two and a half hours without getting achy, but it went fine. I had some Tylenol stashed away just in case. There was no issue with large crowds that may have colds and such - there were only 7 of us in the theater.

Afterwards, I wasn't ready to head back home yet. Shopping is also a fun activity. The Old Navy and Ross stores were right next door and calling to my wallet. I did well finding some clearance bargains and headed home with several new knit tops. All in all, a relaxing and fun day.

Chemo-related, my mouth felt funny all day and my tongue was all tingly. It's better now. Still no sores, just a little red around the back of the throat. Crossing my fingers that it clears up without a problem.

A Day Flies By, A Week Drags On

It seems time works actively against me. Each day I set out with just a couple of household tasks to accomplish mixed in with some book-reading, walking, and eating. I had also anticipated choosing from some of these fun activities: watching Netflix movies, going out to a movie, catching up on back issues of my magazine subscriptions, working on an idle sewing project, or starting a crocheted afghan. Just taking the day slowly, not hindering my body's efforts to heal. So why is this not possible? All I get done is the chores, some reading, a walk, and eating. I haven't watched one movie yet, started anything artsy or crafty, and the magazines keep coming in without me making a dent in the pile. I have no idea how I got anything done when I was working all day. Obviously, it is a time-management problem. What is ironic, the day itself flies by so fast, but when I put several together and wish for the weeks to pass by faster, they crawl at a snail's pace. I was just counting how many weeks I've done and what I have left, 4 weeks done, 8 more to go. Eight! That's almost 2 months. It's like forever. Aaaaahhhhhhh!

Okay, I'm back in control. So I have a solution: do  less chores and more fun stuff. If I'm going to be off work, I should be enjoying some of it. Tomorrow I  have plans to see a movie, either a Netflix rental or one at the theater. I know I can do it. I'll probably have to get out of the house and away from the chores that call to me. I'll let you know if I make it.

Just a quick run-down on my recovery from my last chemotherapy and Neulasta shot. I felt more aches today then yesterday so I took an afternoon dose of Tylenol before heading out for my walk. It helped with the aches, but I was a huffing and puffing up the hill today. A tough walk that was easy days before the treatment. I guess I will have to work to get back in shape before the next round. The aches have returned by evening. More Tylenol will be needed to sleep. It's hard to tell what a day will be like. Looks like I need a few more days to get back to feeling like myself again.

The Worst is Over for Round Two

I think now I can say I've made it through the second round of chemotherapy. The most troubling side effect I've experienced with my chemotherapy treatments so far is the achy bones and joints. But, I think they are soon to be a faded memory (until next round, of course). Last night I slept well with the Tylenol taken at 10:00pm and haven't taken any more today. I felt occasional twinges of pain that halt me for a moment, but overall, I sailed through the day very nicely. As I sit and write now, I feel my knees are crying out for help. I plan to take a couple of Tylenol before bed to make sure I'm comfortable and get a good night's rest.

Today is MLK's birthday. Or at least the observance of his birthday. My son has the day off from school and is enjoying it with his girlfriend. They're geocaching at the park. My husband is busy doing guy stuff here and there so I'm enjoying my day relaxing with my books and doing some editing of photos I took at the last wrestling meet. I had only a trip to the grocery store planned. I'll call it my exercise for the day. Lately, I've been skipping my 3-mile walks to keep from aggravating the bone and joint aches. I think tomorrow I'll be ready to get back out there and hit the pavement again.

I am still nursing my mouth with the salt/baking soda washes. I gargle with the yucky concoction once at night before going to bed. My throat still seems a bit red back there and my mouth feels tingly or something. I'll just keep the preventive medicine going a couple more days to keep any bad stuff from happening. Hopefully my mouth will return to some normalcy soon. And maybe the taste buds will come back too. I still haven't tasted the "metallic" taste that I've heard so much about. I don't have a problem with metal utensils. I have a different taste of foods or no taste, but nothing would be deemed metallic-tasting. I guess that is a good thing.

Still Doing Good

Last night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had wrote that I was uncomfortable with aches even after taking a scheduled dose of Tylenol. I couldn't take the last dose of Tylenol until 11:45pm. I waited it out, and finally, I felt relief from the aches and pains. I was able to fall asleep without a problem. At 6:00am I woke up a bit earlier than I had planned. I felt fine but grabbed another couple of Tylenol before going back to sleep for another hour. When the alarm went off, I was still ache-free.

Today I wanted to start weaning off the pills so I took the 12:00pm dose but skipped the dose at 6:00pm.  I wanted to move up that last dose of the day from 12:00pm to 10:00pm so I could go to bed earlier. It's hard to take round the clock meds every 6 hours when you want to get 8 hours of sleep. So I haven't had any Tylenol since 12 noon and I am definitely feeling the aches again. Not really bad so I'll hang in there for another half hour. It's almost 10pm.

Everything else is manageable. We went to Souplantation for dinner tonight. I still find most foods funny-tasting or have no taste. But salads and most veggies are still appetizing to me. I filled my plate with lots of good salads and stuff and ate it all. Had a small bowl of mac&cheese and then a bit of vanilla frozen yogurt. I still can taste vanilla and choose it over chocolate. I just weighed myself in my pajamas. I made it back up  to 118 pounds. Yay! Of course I'm a bit bloated from dinner, but hey, I'm getting there. I better make sure to keep getting my walks and exercise or I'm going to get fat. That is not where I want to be when these treatments are over. Fit, fit, fit! Like in the military. Ha ha!

Tylenol - It Almost Worked

The Tylenol was doing such a good job, up until this evening. It kept the aches away yesterday and most of today. I even made it through the day sitting in high school bleachers watching a wrestling tournament. By 5pm I started feeling little achy twinges in my upper arm and then in my knees. It slowly crept to my thigh bones, hips and back. 6:00pm was my next dose. The clock moved so slowly waiting for 6pm to arrive. And then it did. Alas, I could take more Tylenol. Unfortunately, it didn't take all the pain away this time. Darn! Still achy everywhere. This should be an interesting evening. I don't know if taking my next dose of Tylenol at 12am will help or not. I may have to go to plan B, or is it C? Anyways, I can try some Ibuprofen next. The nurse told me to stay with Acetaminophen if I can. Ibuprofen is a last resort. Maybe one before bed will be just enough to get me to sleep. Else it will be a long achy, tossing and turning, kind of night. Sigh...

Summer Time Today!

I know some of you are actually experiencing winter with snow and cold weather, but our Southern California winter felt like summer today. I just had to get out for a walk. I hadn't walked since Tuesday, and needed to get back on track again. It seemed a little hard up the hill today as I walked my usual route around the neighborhood, but I marched steadily along and completed the 3-mile course. Later in the afternoon, I gave into another short nap. It didn't invigorate me as much as yesterday's nap did. Maybe the chemo drugs are catching up to me.

To prevent the aches of the Neulasta shot, I'm continuing with the Tylenol, taking 2 pills every 6 hours (if I remember to take them on time). It's working so far. I feel twinges of pain, mostly in my upper arms, but nothing bad. I'll try to keep on schedule with the Tylenol just to prevent the bone aches from gaining any ground. I have also been taking Claritin since yesterday, but I don't know if it's helping or not. Since it doesn't hurt me, I'll take it through Sunday like I did last time just to be sure. The aches might get worse without it. I don't want to change anything for the worse.

Taste is just about gone again. My dinner of a cup of chicken noodle soup and a grilled ham and cheese sandwich were lifeless. Actually, the meal would have probably been lifeless without the effects of chemo. I definitely have an appetite but don't find food tasty at this point after a treatment. During the last round, my taste improved near the end of the 3-week period, so perhaps it will do the same this time too. Again, I have had no problem with nausea and continue to eat and stay hydrated with lots of water.

My mouth and throat are a bit sensitive just like last time. Sometimes a little sore around the back and sides. I gargle each evening with some warm water with salt and baking soda in it. By morning my mouth is feeling pretty good. This side effect was also temporary during the last 3 weeks, so I hope it is a non-issue by later next week.

Well, I'm running out of steam. Time to get in bed with a good book.

Running Tired Today

I've been having trouble getting enough sleep lately and it's tiring me out. I have no trouble falling asleep but I wake up too early, usually around 5am and can't get back to sleep. This morning I woke up at 4am and just couldn't fall asleep no matter how tired I felt. I know the steroids can cause sleeplessness, but I do get tired and fall asleep without a problem. I just can't stay asleep as long as I'd like. I could count sheep forever and they'd still be jumping back and forth over fences while I watched them. Counting backwards from 100 or concentrating on my breathing, no technique is working. I think tonight if I wake up too early, I'll just grab my book and read until my eyes close. I did make time to lay down before lunch, setting a timer for an hour nap. I fell asleep right away and woke to the alarm. The short nap was refreshing and gave me the boost I needed.

Today I took the last two doses of Decadron (steroid meds) for this round of treatment. I don't seem to get the burst of energy I've heard others get from these steroids. Not if I can take a nap between the doses. But they are given to help prevent nausea and increase appetite and they are doing that well. I am so happy I have no nausea during my chemotherapy treatments. The anti-nausea medicines they give me work very well.

The Neulasta shot went okay. It burns a bit when they give it. I guess that is because the drug is refrigerated. It stops hurting right after the injection is complete so no complaints there. I started the Tylenol regiment taking two pills a couple of hours after the shot and will take some before bed tonight. I don't have any pains yet, but I remember they didn't come until later on Friday. I'll keep taking the Tylenol every 6 hours and see if I can avoid the aches this time.

I wrapped up my day at my son's wrestling meet. It wasn't a good night for my son. He got pinned this time. But, collectively, the team did well and won the meet. A very good night for the Fighting Eagles.

Second Chemo Treatment Behind Me

Well, I'm glad to have another treatment day over. I have only 2 more to go. Yay! Today's treatment went without any problems. No needles slipping out. It even ended an hour earlier. They gave me less extra fluids this time. The last time they wanted to be sure I was plenty hydrated since it was my first treatment right before the holiday and they would be closed that Friday. It was a safety measure to make sure I'd do okay. I am getting plenty of fluids on my own, drinking lots of water, so they didn't need to infuse me with the extra liquids this time. My blood test looked really good too. Very high white blood counts and platelets. I guess the Neulasta shot is a good thing, even if it makes me ache for a few days. My red blood cells were also in good range. So I'm not anemic either. Looks like I'm doing all the right things to stay healthy. I did weigh in 2 pounds lighter than the last time, but they didn't seem worried. I'm still working on weight gain and should get a couple more on me by next time.

Tomorrow I get the follow-up Neulasta shot. The nurse told me not to be stingy with the Tylenol this time. I'm to take two every six hours right away to keep the pain low. I was worried about ruining my liver if I used too much. She told me I can take up to 8 a day without worry. Do this for 2-3 days and then back off as I can. "Not a time to be a hero", was what she told me. So I will follow her advice and maybe the aches won't catch up and get too bad. They can also decrease the Neulasta dose next time because my blood test results look really good. They say I would still benefit from a lower dose and stay healthy. First we'll see how the Tylenol works. I'd rather keep the dose as is and not get sick and end up in the hospital.

Head still hurts, short hair still falling out, nothing new to report there.

Gearing Up for Treatment #2

Tomorrow is round 2 of my chemotherapy. I'll be glad to say "only 2 more infusions to go" when the day is done. Of course the side effects will follow in a day or two. When I get through those, then I can really say I'm half way done with my treatments. 

So the day before chemo, I start the premeds again, taking 2 doses of Decadron (the steroid). I sometimes think it's a placebo drug. I took the first dose at breakfast. I then went to my son's school to do some volunteering as a grader for practice SAT tests. I had signed myself up for this back in August. When I came home I settled down to do some reading but kept dozing off. What kind of steroid puts you to sleep? Well, I had lunch a bit later and took the second dose. I seemed to have gained more energy by then, either from the food, the drug, or the short nap. Hard to say, but I felt good enough to get out for my 3-mile walk. When I got back from my walk I did some cleanup on the dead vines on the trellis out front and swept the garage and walkways down. Then it was to the computer to do some photo uploading of wrestling pictures on Snapfish. I was busy, busy, busy!

Later in the evening I headed to Best Buy to compare e-readers. I was deciding between the Amazon Kindle and the Barnes & Noble Nook. After a visit to the Barnes & Noble store down the road, I decided to purchase the Nook. I was able to apply some gift cards my family has given me for my birthday and Christmas so that helped bring the price down. I'm really looking forward to playing with it. It's charging now. Tomorrow it will come in handy during my treatment, unless my talkative new chemo friend is there :-)  It's a bit awkward holding a paperback book with just my left hand since the infusion is in my right hand or arm. And I don't want to do much with my infusion arm like last time when the needle popped out of the vein. The Nook is light weight and can be held and pages turned with just the one hand. I'm also liking the idea of increasing the text size. My contacts are not doing too good with close up reading anymore so I need to wear reading glasses with the contacts. With the adjustable font sizing, I won't need to use the glasses. It's going to work like a charm!

My head (scalp) is still tender. Washing what short hair I have this morning was a bit painful. I wore my wig to the school for grading this morning but found it uncomfortable due to the tenderness. I took it off back at home and switched to a cap for the rest of the day. I hope my head heals soon. It's annoying and bothers me at night when I lay down. I know, I'm whining. I'll stop now. This too shall pass.

Old Hair is Out - New Hair is In

Today was the day to buzz off my hair. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I had the hairdresser start on the sides and back and work her way to the top and bangs. It actually looked kind of nice at one stage with short sides and longer on top. But then it all eventually had to come off. It's definitely interesting looking. It's about a half an inch all around And it still comes out when rubbing my head or removing a hat. It's just shorter hair falling out now. At least I won't clog the drain when I shower in the morning.

The New "Me"

After returning home, I got out my wig and hats to see how they all looked on me. The hats looked fine and will do around the house, going to the store, walking, and other similar places and events. When I'm going out to places where I know the people, like my son's scout meetings and school, church, or work, I'll wear my new hair. Here's a photo I took with my new 'do'. You can't even tell it's a wig...at least I hope not.

And now my head is hurting. My scalp had been a bit sore the last couple of days and was sore before the cut. But now it is really sore. Maybe wearing the wig today aggravated the scalp a bit more. I suppose once the rest of the hair is gone, the soreness will go away too. It's definitely tender, like when you sunburn the top of your head. Hopefully tomorrow it will feel better. I am volunteering at my son's school in the morning and was planning to wear my wig. I may have to just throw on a hat if it is more comfortable for now. We'll see in the morning.

An Uneventful Day

The title says it all. I have nothing new to report today. Of course, my hair continues to disengage freely from my scalp. Certainly no new news there. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's hair appointment to take the rest of it off. Soon, I'll be looking like Demi Moore in the movie G.I. Jane: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1591647232/tt0119173.

I am also looking towards Wednesday when I'll be taking on my second treatment. With one treatment behind me, this time I'm not nearly as anxious. I wonder if I'll see the same lady from before. I look forward to seeing how she is doing and chatting the time away.

Lost Some More Weight Today

Nothing to be too alarmed about, but I think I lost a pound of hair today. Nothing like losing weight in all the wrong places. Ha ha. It was a sheer (pun not intended) mess in the shower, on the bathroom counter, the floor, and in my comb. When it was wet, it looked way too thin, laying very limp and flattened on my head. So I'm thinking what should I do? Every time  I touch it in any way, more falls away. So, I think, flip my head over, blow dry upside down and then flip my head back up and see what it looks like. I was amazed. I was able to get some fullness and with generous sweeping maneuvers with the hairspray can, I had a decent look for public display. Another day without the need for a wig or hat. I do believe I'll need a hat for church tomorrow though. Or maybe I won't wash it and try to style what doesn't fall out for just one more day.

I called my hairdresser to set up an appointment for a buzz cut on Monday, but as my luck goes, she is leaving town Monday and may or may not be back by late Tuesday afternoon. Well, I didn't want to wait, so I asked her if she could find someone else in the salon to help me out sooner. Thankfully, one was able to take me Monday morning. I know it's not difficult and won't even take much time to buzz it off.  I'd do it myself if I had some clippers. My husband tells me, "Just go to a barbershop". Now, that would really make me feel comfortable. An unfortunate lady getting all her hair cut off in a place with a bunch of strange men getting haircuts and beard trims. Hmm, I don't think so...Men.

A Day Visiting with Friends

Today was a great day! I had two appointments to get out of the house and visit friends. The first outing on my agenda today was at our church for the Women's Cancer Support Group meeting. I love these ladies! We laugh, talk, and pray for each other's ups and downs. We celebrate the victories like negative test results and pray for healing and protection for those of us going through treatments. I leave these meetings very uplifted, encouraged and loved.

The next outing was over to BJ's restaurant to meet with 5 of my friends from work. Gosh, I miss them. We enjoyed good conversation and excellent food. I felt much more comfortable with them when one of the guys asked me about my treatment and stuff. He knew a lot about what I was going through. He had two family members that had gone through the same. Talking about what I was going through was pretty easy. They are all so supportive and want to be assured that I'm doing okay and will be back to work as soon as I'm ready. I can't wait to get together with them again but will have to wait until after I get through my next treatment.

I'm am definitely tired of this hair problem I seem to have. It is very annoying as it falls out everywhere. The plan is to call my hairdresser tomorrow and set up an appointment for Monday to chop it off. I still didn't need a hat today. I may also be okay hatless tomorrow at the wrestling tournament. But I'm betting by Sunday, my hair will be noticeably thinned. I'll probably need a hat for church. I don't like the transition part from hair to hairless. It's one of those things I don't have control over. So I'm taking back the control and buzzing it short. I will be ready for my wig and hats then. I even found a couple of new ones today at the mall. I have my winter collection ready.

When to Cut My Hair

My hair continues to fall away, when washing it, brushing it, blowing drying it, or just running my hand through it. I feel like the cat when he sheds his fur everywhere. I wonder how many days I have before I need to have it buzzed off. It's still okay now without a hat. After drying my hair, I hairspray it to hold it in place a bit so it doesn't just become fly away all over the place. That seems to work for now. But it's definitely getting thinner all around. I'm thinking I have through the weekend and will probably need to see my hairdresser by Monday or Tuesday at the latest. Do I cut it really short or just buzz it like the military? I suppose it won't matter either way since I will be covering up with a hat or my wig.

Blood, Sweat & 'Hairs'

I can hear some of you now. "Gro-o-a-n!" For the too young crowd, today's blog title plays off the band named "Blood Sweat & Tears". I'm working on expanding my creativity. Okay, okay. I'll keep my day job.

Concerning the topic of 'blood', today was another opportunity to give up a vile of blood to the lab. I just love needles! I can't complain about this particular lab I'm going to. I had two different ladies take my blood between last week and this week and both did an awesome job. No pain at all. As for the results, I never heard anything about the blood taken last week. I guess no news is good news in this case.

On to 'sweat'. Besides my 3-mile walk around the neighborhood, I threw some weights around as I had mentioned I would do to help build back my muscles. I guess I didn't 'throw' them around, but I did a mixture of exercises for my legs and arms, followed by some sit ups. It wasn't all out muscle break down, but it felt good to work the muscles a bit. I hope to work with the weights 2-3 times a week, on my good weeks. I won't be looking at the weights when the achiness comes back. A good soak in a warm bath will be what I'll be headed for.

And lastly, what about the 'hairs'? Without my permission, they continue to increasingly disengage from my scalp. Generous passes of hairspray have failed to hold them on. Lucky for me, I have a thick head of hair that often needs thinning when getting a routine haircut. So the loss, so far, is not noticeable in any way, even to me.

Uh, oh...I think I Lost a Few More Hairs Than Usual

Yes, this morning it seemed like more than the usual amount of strands fell away when washing my hair and brushing it dry. Nothing noticeable to anybody but it may be the beginning of the end (of hair, of course). I knew it just couldn't be possible that I would  bypass this chemo side effect. I'll be watching for more fall out in the next day or two. Time to bring out that wig and hat collection. They may be needed very soon.

Today I did not return to work as I noted in my last blog. I composed an email that was distributed to all my section explaining my absence. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to share some details about my diagnosis, surgery and treatment plans. I received lots of return emails with well wishes and support. I'm going to miss those guys. It's going to be a long couple of months.

Back to my weight problem. I have lost weight it seems. Even after the magical tapping and resetting of the scale, a reading today is lower than I like and definitely not what the doctor is going to like. I am now looking to pile on the calories to gain 2-3 pounds by next week when I go in for my next treatment. I did well tonight by having a big slice of chocolate cheesecake after dinner. It was a large slice if you can imagine what the Cheesecake Factory slices are like. I felt like a blimp after consuming it, but the scale showed only 115 lbs. I was in my pajamas. When they weigh me next week, I'll have a jacket and tennis shoes on. That will help too. :-)  And I think it's time to do some workouts with weights again. It would be nice to build back my muscles.

My Friends will be Returning to Work Tomorrow...but not Me

Tomorrow my co-workers will be headed back to work after nearly two weeks of a company shutdown for the holidays. But not me. Not yet. I'm set up on disability leave for the rest of my treatments. The crazy thing is, I haven't told any of my co-workers about my cancer diagnosis, the surgery or the chemotherapy treatment I needed. Only three close female co-workers, my manager and his manager know what I've been through and what I'm going through now. It seemed simple just to handle the surgery and recovery with a short period of personal time off. I found no need to share the personal details. It would have worked if I hadn't needed the chemotherapy. So now I'm out for awhile and it looks like I'll need to tell them something. Should be interesting how this turns out.

Regarding my present state of health and well-being, I have little to share. I'm still waiting for my hair to begin falling out. The nurse at the chemotherapy class said it would be around day 12-14 after the first treatment. Yesterday was day 12, today is day 13. I guess tomorrow must be the day. Or...no...maybe...no...what if...what if I don't lose my hair? If only that could be true. I'll try to be extra careful tonight not to toss and turn my head too much. Don't want to stress the hair roots. Ha ha!

Weighing In

Last night I decided to check my weight and make sure I was keeping it on. My reference is 118 lbs. I weighed that the day of my chemo treatment with jeans, tennis shoes and my hoodie sweatshirt on. 118 lbs is really a bit underweight for me. But I think it's low because I'm losing my muscle weight. I was working out on the weight machines at the club before all this cancer stuff happened. I haven't been there since surgery so I'm losing my muscle mass. That's my reasoning for the slight weight loss. It can't be because I'm not eating, because I am eating all my meals and snacks too. So anyways, back to last night. I'm in my pajamas and socks and decide to check out my weight. I expected to see it around the 118 lbs. Well, was I shocked. The scale displayed 112.8. Yikes, that can't be! I stepped off, then on again, and the same thing. I was freaking inside. I'm wasting away! Aaahhhhh!

Well, I vowed to get more calories somewhere into my diet. I needed to gain weight. This was scary. I didn't sleep very well last night worrying over it. So today, I'm doing all the right stuff, eating all my meals, throwing in a piece of chocolate or two. We even went out to the Outback Steakhouse for my hubby's birthday and I had extra bread, some of the blooming onion, and a nice fish dinner with a baked sweet potato. Back at home I headed to the scale to see if I gained a pound. This time I left on my tennis shoes and hoodie, just  like what I had on on chemo day. So I step on the scale. OMG! Now it says I weight 123 lbs. I just gained 10 pounds in one day! Yikes! Well, my son comes over to check out what I'm all upset about. He calmly assures me it is the scale. He has seen it give false readings on occasion. "Just step off, tap it, wait for the zeros to show, then step back on", he says. This time it showed 119 lbs. Whew! What a relief! So last night's 112.8 lbs was also a flaky reading. I lost sleep over a bad scale reading. Sheesh! So all in all, I'm doing good maintaining my weight. But boy, that scale had me going there for a bit.